


All That Remains Of Lance McClain

by CryTill5AM (BogDing)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: more horror-based than the game actually is lmao, pls watch/play the game first bc it is??? so good, the 'what remains of edith finch' au literally no one asked for, this is a wild ride y'all git ready
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2018-12-02 14:57:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11511741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BogDing/pseuds/CryTill5AM
Summary: “Do you want to talk about it?” Shiro asked kindly, his heart going out to the blue paladin, knowing how much difficulty the younger man had with adjusting to being so far away from his family; after all, he and the rest of the team had seen the image of Lance’s family during the first mind meld, and every other mind melding training after that, even if he didn’t know that Lance’s family had all died out years before.





	1. Trying To Hide The Truth Is Hard In A Castle With Only Six Other People

**Author's Note:**

> https://crytill5am.tumblr.com/post/162169068069/voltron-au-but-not-rlly-idk

Hiding his family diaries had never been so difficult. 

Lance McClain, last of the McClain line, sighed, staring down at the small stack of books he held within his hands. Why couldn’t he have grabbed more clothes or beauty products and shoved them into his bag, he’ll never know [he does, he knows the reason, can feel the energy from the books, the knowledge, the history in his hands, and has to ignore the urge to open them and spend hours between the pages]. 

Swallowing thickly, the blue paladin looked around his small room within the castle ship, hoping to find any sort of hiding spot where he could stash the books. There was no way he’d be able to store them here without at least one of the team finding and reading them, especially if it happened to be Hunk. Lance loved his friend, cared for him fiercely, but he knew Hunk’s penchant for snooping, and knew that all the secrets he’d been trying to keep from the team would be unraveled should Hunk find the books.

The mystery of his fierce and aching homesickness, worse than any of the other paladin’s, would be made clear for any and all if Hunk found the books. He’d already worked so damn hard to take as much attention off himself as he could, sabotaging his intelligence and introverted nature by making himself seem as obnoxious and loud as seemingly possible. It wasn’t hard, all things considered; a couple not-so-subtle digs at Keith, half-hearted flirting with Allura, and horribly bad jokes made Lance McClain seem as normal and outgoing a person as he could be. 

Opening the door to his room, Lance glanced around the silent, darkened hallways for any late night walkers, knowing that Shiro’s nightmares often kept him awake at night and Pidge’s obsession over finding her father and brother made it highly likely for either or both of them to still be awake at this hour. Not that Lance could really say that he hadn’t ever spent countless nights awake in his own fear back on earth, but Lance relished his time in space [so, so very far away from his old family home, from the hurt and the horror he’d left behind, so far away from the filled up cemetery and the house that always seemed hungry], due to the ability to easily sleep most nights now. 

Seeing no one wandering the halls, and not hearing the clack-clack-clacking of Pidge’s keyboard, the blue paladin quietly exited his room, making his way down to the Lion hangars. The eerie silence of the castle made Lance twitch, thoughts and memories clouding his mind briefly as he tried to hurry his way down to Blue. 

“Lance? What’re you doing up, bud?” 

Lance barely held back a loud shriek, sucking in a surprised breath and turning around so quickly he nearly got whiplash. Seeing that it was a tired Shiro, Lance scrambled to try and hide the small, precious pile of books and diaries and letters behind his back, out of his leader’s eyesight. The wide, panicked look on his face must have made Shiro pause because the older paladin was staring a little suspiciously at his teammate. 

“Oh, uh, hey, hi-Shiro! Wow, I didn’t, uh, expect you to, uhm, be awake at this hour-I was just heading down to the-the, uh, uhmm, the kitchens! Yeah! I woke up a little hungry for food-goo, so I thought I’d go, uh, grab something to munch before going back to bed!” Lance stammered, hiding the books behind his back and sucking on his bottom lip, heartbeat hammering fast as he stood before Shiro. “What-uh, what are you doing up?” 

Shiro seemed to huff in slight amusement and Lance fought back a grimace, hoping that Shiro would just let him walk away without any more invasive questions. “I couldn’t sleep,” His leader admitted uncomfortably, not bothering with expanding on his explanation as his eyes narrowed and flickered down to Lance’s arms, tilting his head as if he were trying to catch a glimpse of what Lance was carrying, “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll accompany you to the kitchen-”

“There’s no need!” Lance said quickly, the panic of being found out overriding his usual sensibility and he fought the urge to kick himself. Way to make yourself seem more suspicious dude. Shiro’s eyebrows rose and Lance cleared his throat nervously, “I’m uh, just getting one of those ration bars and then I’m gonna go back to bed, so there’s no, uh, reason for you to come with me, it’ll just be really boring anyway, you should really try getting some sleep yourself, Shiro.”

Shiro stared at Lance dully for a moment, trying to work his sluggish brain through Lance’s word vomit. He shook his head and narrowed his eyes, even more, suspicious than before, “Is… something the matter Lance? You seem a bit jumpy.”

The blue paladin chuckled uncomfortably, avoiding his leader’s eyes. He didn’t want to lie directly to Shiro’s face, but what else could he do? Tell him the truth? Lance didn’t think so, Shiro would probably think it was ridiculous anyway, he thought bitterly, “I’m just… homesick.” He admitted though the words felt bitter and acidic in his mouth.

Lance glanced up and fought the urge to gag at the sympathy on Shiro’s face, a wave of bitterness cresting and settling within his lanky body. It’s not like his leader knew what Lance was hiding, there’s no way Shiro would be able to understand all the horror Lance had gone through simply for being of the McClain bloodline. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Shiro asked kindly, his heart going out to the blue paladin, knowing how much difficulty the younger man had with adjusting to being so far away from his family; after all, he and the rest of the team had seen the image of Lance’s family during the first mind meld, and every other mind melding training after that, even if he didn’t know that Lance’s family had all died out years before.

Lance shook his head sharply, gathering what he knew was a brittle smile to hide the pain that Shiro’s question brought. Lance so desperately wanted to confide in his leader, in his entire team really, but he knew how the others would see him if they knew the truth: unstable, a liar, and Lance just… couldn’t handle being called that by his space family.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m just gonna grab something to eat before going back to bed. I’ll probably be fine after some sleep,” Lance said instead, giving his leader a much more genuine smile this time, “You just go on and get back to bed, Shiro. You really need to get more rest.”

Shiro hesitated before nodding, knowing that pushing Lance right now would probably be a bad idea. Moving to re-enter his room, the older paladin yawned and shot Lance a wave, “Goodnight then Lance. If you need to talk, you can always come wake me up, okay?”

The other paladin nodded and waved back, “Yeah, don’t worry about it, goodnight Shiro!”

Lance waited a few moments until he was certain that Shiro wouldn’t come back out before continuing on his way down to the Blue Hangar. Heaving a sigh, the blue paladin clutched his family books to his chest as he entered, smiling softly and relaxing marginally at the warm, welcoming purr that Blue directed towards him. The knowledge that Blue knew everything, had seen through all his memories and thoughts and fears and had still chosen him despite them filled Lance’s chest with warmth and soft love, which he sent to his beautiful Lion.

“Hey girl,” he whispered quietly, moving towards her and entering her maw when she opened up for him easily, “Sorry to wake you, just wanted to come by and…” he drifted off, closing his eyes as Blue sent him soothing rumbles, an image of a semi-hidden nook behind the paladin seat filling his mind. Lance grinned, knowing that she was giving him permission to keep his deepest secrets here, even if she felt that he should confide within the team.

“I will, one day, I promise,” Lance soothed, patting her controls gently as he opened the secret compartment, getting a little thrill that he hasn’t felt since the last and final time he’d ever gone back to the family house. There was something so satisfying, and at the same time terrifying, in finding a secret passageway or hidden cupboard. Placing the books within the nook, Lance shut it and yawned tiredly, the sudden lack of the books’ energies leaving him exhausted and sleepy. 

Exiting his Lion, Lance sent Blue a soft smile and a wave of affection, heading towards the hangar exit. “G’night Blue. See you in the morning.” He yawned, receiving the soft goodnight from his own Lion as he made his way back over to his room.

Curling himself up in the sheets of his bed, Lance shut his eyes, images of times and people long gone filling his sleeping mind.


	2. Lance Loves Hunk, But Please Don't Nose Into His Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Does this have anything to do with those letters I saw you reading the other day?” Lance loved Hunk, fiercely, like a brother, but sometimes he desperately wished the other wasn’t so nosy.

Lance felt trapped.

He shouldn’t have let himself slip up so easily. Shouldn’t have kept visiting Blue in the middle of the night to read through the letters and notes left behind by his family. Should have known that he’d eventually be caught by the team, which would lead to uncomfortable revelations into Lance’s true past. Really, if he’d payed some extra attention to how many times he’d run into people while heading down to Blue’s hangar.

But no, he hadn’t. Which means that what could have been preventable, was now happening real time in Lance’s life.

It started, as all things do, an innocent remark tossed to Lance as he walked into the kitchen/dining area for breakfast. He’d been caught by Coran last night, wandering the hallways with headphones on, plugged into the tape recorder that had been stashed away with the rest of his family notes and letters in the hidden compartment in Blue. Coran had inquired about his recent sleeping patterns, being that Lance didn’t seem to be sleeping well recently, and all the others had suddenly rounded on Lance in concern for his well being.

Lance could only hope that he’d be able to diffuse their concerns. He didn’t want them to find out about his family legacy. Didn’t want to see the pity in their faces-he’d had enough of that growing up in the foster care system, thank you very much. 

“Guys, it’s not such a big deal!” Lance huffed, not even meeting anyone’s eyes as he swallowed a mouthful of the food goo, appetite waning quickly with the looks he was getting from everyone, “I’ve just been spending more time bonding with Blue! We’re supposed to have strong connections to our Lions, right?”

Allura frowned, Shiro crossed his arms and Lance braced himself for a scolding, “That does not mean that you should forgo your own health, Lance,” Allura said seriously, tilting her head to get Lance to try and make eye contact so he could see her sincerity, “We’re simply worried that you are not resting enough during the night, which-I have been informed-will affect you humans negatively in the long run.”

Shiro nodded beside her, moving over to place a gentle hand on Lance’s shoulder. Lance had to fight the urges to either lean into the contact or flinch away from it. “Allura’s right, Lance. It isn’t healthy to only go to your Lion when you’re having problems sleeping,” A sympathetic look flashed over Shiro’s features, voice low and soft in a way that Lance absolutely hated-hated how it reminded him of the social workers taking him back from foster homes that didn’t always quite work out, their pity thick like tar as Lance tried so hard not to cry in the backseat.

Lance swallowed down the snappy reply that lingered at the tip of his tongue, mustering up a cheerful smile to hide the bitterness that festered in his chest, “Ah, yeah, I just haven’t been sleeping the best? And I don’t like bothering you guys with my homesick ass when you guys need sleep just as much as I do. Really, it’s not a big deal.”

“Does this have anything to do with those letters I saw you reading the other day?” Lance loved Hunk, fiercely, like a brother, but sometimes he desperately wished the other wasn’t so nosy. 

“Or the recorded tape I saw you fiddling with when we got back from that meeting with the Coreklians?” Pidge piped up and Lance wished they could read his mind so that they would hush up about what they’d seen.

“Or how about the notebooks I’ve seen you wandering the halls with?” Keith asked eyebrow raised skeptically and Lance really, really wanted to throttle is rival-turned-team mate-turned-friend. 

It was silent for a few moments as they all kept looking at Lance, waiting for a reply from the blue paladin, who was trying so very hard not to let the acidic remarks he was thinking spew out of him. It felt too much like they were accusing him of something heinous, when really, all he was doing was keeping something extremely personal from the team-and yeah, that probably didn’t sound too good, considering they were supposed to be one hundred and fifty percent open with each other but Lance just couldn’t. It felt too personal, and he still wasn’t as comfortably close with the others as he felt he should be before they Unlocked His Tragic Backstory™.

“Guys,” He said, having calmed himself down some, enough that his voice wouldn’t shake and that his discomfort wouldn’t show on his face, “I appreciate that you’re all worried about me, but seriously. It’s not a big deal. I already had bad insomnia back on earth and could deal with it enough to get into the Garrison,” He smiled at them, genuinely grateful, before it fell and he looked at them seriously, “But I can’t tell you anything about the books, tapes or letters. They’re… very personal, and I don’t feel comfortable discussing them with all of you at this time,” he looked at his plate guiltily, avoiding the hurt looks the others must have on their faces, “I’m sorry.”

Shiro seemed to sigh deeply, feeling conflicted over Lance’s answer. While on one hand, he was fairly hurt that Lance didn’t seem to trust them enough to let them in more, he also understood that what Lance was hiding from them was so personal, that not even Hunk-who was Lance’s best friend and almost-brother-didn’t even know about the books. While he wanted to get Lance to open up to the team about it, be honest and bond, he didn’t want to push Lance away by being too nosy about it.

“Alright…” Shiro said hesitantly, pulling away from Lance and giving the younger man a reassuring smile once he looked up, “while I’m not happy that you’re willingly hiding something from the team, I can also respect that it’s a touchy subject for you, and is very personal and uncomfortable for you to talk about at this time.”

“However,” Allura continued, her own sweet, comforting smile in place as she drew Lance’s attention away from Shiro, “if this… secret that you are hiding from your fellow paladins truly has nothing to do with them, and will not effect the overall strength of the team and your ability to form Voltron, then we will wait patiently for you to open up to us about it.”

Hunk grinned at Lance, “Yeah bud, I don’t mind waiting till you’re ready to tell us what’s going on in that head of yours, and what those books and stuff have to do with it, but I just want you to know that no matter what, I’m here for you, ‘kay?”

“Same here,” Pidge huffed, their own smile practically mega-watt, though there was something sly about it.

Keith simply nodded, not seeing the need to add a verbal opinion as he tapped Lance’s hand, shooting the blue paladin a snarky grin. 

“Quite right, my boy! If you ever have a need for an open ear, I am open to conversing anytime!” Coran called to Lance enthusiastically from the kitchen, where he was trying to cook yet another monstrosity of a meal for the paladins to try later in the day. 

Lance smiled, relief washing over him at his team’s understanding. He had no idea how he was ever going to be able to tell them the secret fears that plagued his mind, the tug in his navel that connected him to earth, to his old family house. Had no idea how he’d even be able to tell them all that he had no actual blood-related family, that he was the last of his line and that the curse on his family-whether it was real or not was debatable, but Lance had seen too much tragedy in his biological family to say there wasn’t some link to it-or how he was both terrified of returning to earth, yet also yearned for it. 

But for now, they wouldn’t ask, wouldn’t pry into the secrets that he kept hidden. 

“Thanks, guys,” He said, smile wide and genuine. He was just about to ask Coran what he planned to make for them when the alarm went off.

It was time to go battle.

* * *

Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong in the end.

Lance found himself trapped, once again. Too many Galra ships surrounded his beautiful Blue, the sheer numbers causing panic to well up within him. Each ship he shot down was replaced by three more, like some creepy metallic Hydra-fleet of ships. 

“Guys, I need some help over here!” He called out desperately over the comms, wincing when several ships shot Blue, his Lion roaring out a breath of ice, catching three of the awful purple and black ships. If he didn’t get any assistance now, he’d be overwhelmed, and there’s no way he’d be able to make it out and back to the castle in one piece.

“On your right!” Keith’s voice replied, and a blast of hot fire took down several of the ships beside Lance. The blue paladin let out a breath of relief, steering Blue to float beside Red, the two Lions working together to get rid of the swarming fleet so that they could fly back to the rest of the paladins way back.

“Thanks, dude, I was in a bit of a jam back there!” Lance called to Keith cheerfully, who snorted at the blue paladin’s enthusiasm. 

“Maybe pay a bit more attention to the number of ships you can take before you engage them next time, Lance,” Keith called over the comms, tone lightly amused, “Might not actually need some saving next time.”

“Pfft, and give you all the glory, mullet-head? Nah.”

Shiro sighed in fond exasperation at the two, ceasing what he knew would lead to some lengthy bickering between the two, “Alright, alright, enough. Come back here so we can form Voltron and get rid of the main ship.”

“You got it!” Lance cheered, flying into position. They quickly formed Voltron, connection sure and strong between the five of them and Lance allowed himself to revel in it for the time being. Blue purred warmly in the back of his mind, setting him more at ease than he had been. 

Voltron made quick work of the main ship, the paladins allowing the sweet taste of victory to flow through the bond. 

Lance should have paid more attention. He barely managed to catch a glimpse of several of the smaller ships doubling back towards Voltron, all their blasters aimed directly at Hunk’s side. Breathing in sharply, Lance cried out to Hunk, forcibly breaking Blue away from Voltron to take the hit, purple electricity clashing and invading Blue’s armor.

You know how water allows the travel of electricity through its particles, or how electric types are two times stronger than water types in Pokemon? The same seemed to extend to the Blue Lion.

For a moment, everything went still, the left over connection from Voltron still buzzing lightly in the back of Lance’s mind. In that split moment, he was reminded idly of when his great-grandfather, Douglas McClain, hadn’t been paying attention to the buck his daughter, Melissa McClain, had shot. The memory from the photos flashed before him so vividly it almost felt like he was  _there_ -one moment Douglas had been holding up the head of the still twitching buck, wide smile proud, even as his daughter sobbed a ways away behind the camera, big body looking so comically large in comparison to the small cliff-top he stood on with his second wife. 

He’d been too close to the edge, his footing hadn’t been sturdy, it had rained the night before. It didn’t matter the reason. One moment Douglas McClain had been placing the head of the dying deer back down on the ground to wave at his daughter, calling for a last snap shot-and the next, the buck’s head had tossed up, a last bursting struggle, the force strong enough to knock Douglas to the side. He slipped, the snap of the camera shutter loud in the quiet stillness between life and death… and then he was falling, falling, falling.

Once Douglas McClain’s body hit the forest earth with a sickening crunch, so too did Lance’s mind snaps back to the present. A piercing scream left him, body convulsing in pain as the electricity fried his cockpit and rushed through him. Blue’s pained roars drowning out the shocked and panicked gasps from his team. Voltron’s mind connection finally broke as Lance idled in pained consciousness. 

 _They saw it…_  He thought blearily, his mind feeling so, so tired and so far away from everything.  _I’ll… have to explain… later…_

And with that last thought, Lance McClain, paladin of the Blue Lion, slipped into agonizing unconsciousness.


	3. The Team Goes Snooping And Then Cries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith looked up to see Hunk rooting through several cassettes before pulling one labeled ‘McClain House and family history, by Alexa McClain for Lance McClain.’ Pidge, who’s eye had been caught by an innocuous looking cassette player, grabbed it and handed it to Hunk, who put the cassette into it.

Lance had been in the pod for all of a week, and the tension was mounting within the castle of lions.

Everyone was trying to occupy themselves. Hunk spent a majority of the time working on repairing Blue or cluttering around in the kitchen or just chilling next to Lance’s pod, chattering softly to his comatose best friend. Pidge was hell-bent on coding, taking very brief breaks for food and water, eyes red-rimmed and dry every time they wandered into the kitchen. Keith isolated himself to the training deck, the bridge, his own room, he just generally avoided the others best he could. 

Shiro and Allura were too busy forming alternate plans for Galra attacks, and Coran spent much time either monitoring Lance’s progress or obsessively cleaning every inch of the castle. He was still cheery, greeting everyone and starting conversations, but everyone could tell his heart wasn’t truly in it. 

Everyone tried to avoid one another in some way. The elephant in the room was too big to truly confront at this moment in time while Lance was still in the pod. They wanted to talk about the vision, the last glimpse they’d gotten into Lance’s head before the electric blast had cut off his connection fully from them. They didn’t know how to approach it, the mystery of Lance’s origins starting to crack, laying waste to the comfortable foundation the blue paladin had laid for the team, helping to bring them together. That familiarity and comfort was gone now, shattered and leaving the paladins floundering for answers to questions they didn’t know who to ask.

So they waited. And as one week passed into two, then three, the team came together in a clash of hurtful accusations and floundering panic. They hadn’t truly realized the extent to which Lance helped to keep them together, the glue that helped the paladins form the bonds of friendship and camaraderie. Keith looked like he was about to throttle Pidge, who stood next to Hunk defensively, Shiro holding Keith back by his right arm. Allura and Coran could only watch helplessly as the paladins crumbled, lack of sleep and the gaping hole of their missing Blue leaving jagged, open and undefended minds and hearts laid bare.

Blue roared in her hangar and brought the fighting to a stop. Images flashed within the paladins’ minds, their Lions connecting together to help Blue reach the paladins. Images of Lance in the cockpit, taking out and hiding stacks of notebooks, cassettes, letters, reading them, looking at Polaroid photos in the comfort and security of his Lion. 

Blue beckoned them, invited them in, showed them the hidden compartment within her flight deck. She was tired of the tension, the bickering, the uncertainty. She knew her paladin’s teammates needed answers, and she would give them. Perhaps then her cub would heal, the mind wounds festering and growing inside him as the team fell apart. She needed to bring them together, to tether Lance to this plane of existence. She refused to let him slip quietly, without a fight, from this world, into the claws of the darkness that hungered for him.

Hunk was the first to reach the hangars, marching over to Blue and scrambling into her cockpit, immediately reaching for the hidden stash of secrets that Lance had kept from them. He needed to know, felt the itch of unknown knowledge claw at his fingertips as he grabbed everything hidden within. Hearing the others rush into the hangar, Hunk gingerly came back out, holding the stack of ancient looking information gently, carefully, afraid of damaging his friend’s property.

“Hunk, I really think we should wait for Lance to come to us with this! We’re betraying his trust by snooping into his past, I know you’re upset but-”

Hunk glared at Shiro, holding the stack tightly to his chest, away from his leader’s reaching grip, “No. We need to find out what’s happening to Lance. We need to know what’s been bothering him so much that he didn’t feel comfortable with telling us in the first place. We-” Hunk broke off, taking in a sharp breath as he tried to keep himself from crying, “I need to  _know_ , Shiro.”

The older paladin faltered, eyes shutting. Shiro just felt so tired. Lance’s continued stay within the healing pods was taking so much emotional energy from the team. Opening his dark eyes and looking at the anxious group before him, he breathed deeply. His own intrinsic need to know what had been bothering Lance washing over him as he saw the pleading look in Hunk’s and Pidge’s expressions, Keith’s fierce worry, Allura and Coran’s bone-deep exhaustion and found himself nodding, “Alright. Let’s go to the living room and… take a look at this.”

The group shuffled out of the hangars, calmly walking into the living area and spreading themselves out over the floor. Pillows were stripped from the couches for comfortable seating as Pidge helped Hunk spread the collection of notebooks, letters, photos, cassettes, cassette player and paintings over the floor between everyone.

The group faltered. There was just… so  _much_  here. Where would they start? How would they know what to read to truly understand what and why Lance had hidden this from them. 

As always when it came to impulsive decisions, Keith snatched up the newest looking notebook. “’Property of Alexa McClain, for-” He faltered, shoulders slumping, “-for Lance McClain.’” Looking up from the cover of the book, he met the eyes of everyone in the circle, a flash of uncertainty marring his features. After all, he knew he and Lance weren’t the closest of the paladins, and this felt too personal for Keith to read. However, the want to know Lance, to understand him better as a friend and teammate, drove Keith to continue.

Opening the notebook, he was slightly disappointed to see one short written note. He could see the crossed out beginnings of earlier notes, the hesitance of the writer clear, as if they didn’t know how to begin, “A lot of this isn’t going to make sense to you, and I’m sorry about that. I was hoping to one day tell you about the wonders of our family, but just in case, I’ve left a video recording for you to try and help you understand why this happened to you.”

Keith looked up to see Hunk rooting through several cassettes before pulling one labeled ‘ _McClain House and family history, by Alexa McClain for Lance McClain_.’ Pidge, whose eye had been caught by an innocuous-looking cassette player, grabbed it and handed it to Hunk, who put the cassette into it. 

A video recording flickered to life on the small screen, which led to Allura standing up, hunting for something to hopefully enlarge the image so they could all see it clearly. After having found it, they connected it with some difficulty to the cassette player before starting the video again. There were a few moments of shaky fiddling with the camera before a young woman appeared on the screen, a bright-if a little sad-smile stretching her full lips and freckled cheeks beautifully. Brown skin seemed to glow healthily in the sunlight as she waved to the video camera, blue eyes sparkling. 

The team was entranced by the young woman, who tucked a loose lock of curly brown hair behind her ear. She seemed to be standing on the edge of a forest, a warm jacket-Shiro was struck with the knowledge that it was Lance’s jacket- covering her shoulders, well-worn gloves wrapped her hands and fingers comfortably. The camera dipped slightly and the team’s breath caught as they saw the glimpse of a slightly rounded belly under a faded gray shirt spattered with glittery stars and planets, the words ‘Nasa, show me the aliens’ written in a bold silver across what was clearly a pregnancy bump. 

The woman seemed to lift it up again, camera still shaking as she muttered lowly before clearing her throat, bright smile firmly in place once more, “ _Hello Lance_ ,” She started, voice soft and sweet, “ _Oh, God, that sounded awfully formal, I’m giving you the wrong impression of me_.” She giggled, blue eyes bright with happiness as she adjusted the camera once again, “ _Let’s start over. Hey there Lance, it’s me, your mom, Alexa, which you probably already know_ ,” She giggled again, “ _This is gonna be a long video, so you might wanna grab something to eat, drink and find somewhere to sit comfortably. You can pause the video, don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you get bac_ k.”

There was a short pause before Alexa shuffled slightly, a soft look in her eyes, “ _You comfy? Yeah? Okay, let’s begin_ ,” her smile faltered slightly as she sighed, the team settling back comfortably as they watched this woman, Lance’s mom, on the screen. Pidge lay on their belly, Hunk leaned back on his hands, eyes never leaving the screen, in awe of how much Lance and Alexa looked similar. Keith seemed to lay back, using a couple of pillows to prop himself up, Shiro sitting cross-legged next to him. Coran and Allura were curled up together, the mice taking up residence within Allura’s long hair. 

“ _So_ ,” Alexa began, the movement in the background of the film suggesting that she’d started walking, “ _I guess I should start at the beginning, with the house_.”

* * *

**Alexa’s eyes drifted away from the camera briefly as she stepped over a fallen branch, careful to keep her footing and the camera as steady as possible. She knew, logically, that she probably shouldn’t have come here while four months pregnant, but something about the time had seemed right when she’d found the letter her mother had left for her. Recently 18, the young woman felt that, considering her family history, that she should leave something behind for her son should anything happen to her.**

**“I lived here till I was eleven, but I wasn’t allowed inside half of the rooms,” She continued from where she’d left off, moving the camera to catch sight of the family house looming in the distance. It looked just as she and her mother had left it all those years ago, tall and imposing against the skyline, a hodge-podge of built-in rooms and areas of the house stacked crookedly atop one another. A tower rose from one side of the room in counterpoint to the relatively tree-house looking another side of the roof. Alexa thought she could perhaps hear the creaking of the buildings as a gust of wind swept past her, sending her hair batting into her face.**

**Spitting hair from out of her mouth, her eyes locked onto a tree nearby. The washed out, the moldy image of a missing person poster left a stab of pain in her heart; the camera was pointed to the slightly blurry image of a happily smiling boy, a paper crown resting atop his curly hair. She could almost feel the mischief pouring out from his grayed our eyes before she locked eyes with the camera once more, “My brother Cameron went missing when I was four,” She said seriously, a frown pursing her lips up sadly, “It was like the house had swallowed him up. I hadn’t been back since my brother Joseph’s funeral.”**

**She paused as she walked comfortably for a while longer, taking in the sights of the forest around her with a small, barely there smile. She turned her attention back to the camera as she rounded the curved edge of the road. A mailbox came into view, and Alexa found herself grinning at the sight of the miniature family house that played the mailbox. Opening it, she grimaced at the mail left inside, the smell of mold and wet paper making her feel slightly nauseous. “Looks like there’s still bills in here from seven years ago…” Alexa muttered, pulling them out after opening the mailbox, flitting through them, snickering at the ‘ _urgent, open immediately’_  that was stamped on the envelopes. Putting them back in the mailbox, she shut it before turning the camera back to her face.**

**“In her will, my mother left me a key but didn’t tell me what it unlocked,” Alexa huffed, walking down the winding path, coming closer and closer to the old house. There was a sense of discomfort, a feeling that the house was waking up, waiting for her, “Maybe she thought I’d know… Or maybe she thought the mystery would be enough to bring me back .” Alexa knew she was probably just talking to fill in the silence, but she felt that she needed to distract herself from where she was going. Through muscle memory, she turned into the small, narrow and steep path to the side of the road, where the sign ‘The McClains’ pointed her to.**

**“The truth is,” she murmured, “even after I inherited the house, I never thought I’d come back to it.” She paused, looking down the path and felt an overwhelming wave of nostalgia wash over her, “But I knew I had questions about my, our family that only the house knew the answers to.”  
**

**Alexa felt determination fill her, despite the discomforting feeling she got from both the house and the woods surrounding her, “The woods around the house have always been uncomfortably silent as if they’re about to say something but never… do…” She trailed off, allowing the silence of the forest to permeate the video for a moment before she continued her trek.**

**It wasn’t long before she came to the house. Standing in the shadow of the family house, Alexa felt as if she had gone back to being that small, helpless eleven-years-old again. The thought squeezed her heart as she tipped her head back, the hand not holding the camera coming to rest on her rounded belly protectively. Here, in the stillness of the woods, the house looming above her, she could clearly remember that old fear from her childhood, the fear that the house would just swallow her up and never let her go. She shuddered, partly from the cooling Autumn air and partly from the uneasy feeling she got from staring at the house. “It looks exactly like it did when we left… looks exactly like how I’ve dreamt about it these past seven years…” She murmured softly, shoulders tensing as she looked away from the house.**

**Breathing deep, she started walking up to the house, hands shaking slightly as she did. “You know, as a kid, I used to be really scared of the house,” Alexa hummed, letting her hand gently trail over the overgrown garden fences, “I couldn’t ever really explain why.” She mumbled, walking up the porch, spotting the old pots and potting earth left behind by her family oh so long ago.**

**Coming up to the door, she held up the small key left to her by her mother, frowning when she inserted it into the lock and it didn’t open. “Damn, I thought this would unlock the front door.” She huffed, kneeling down to look through the mail slot and into the house. A chill rushed down her spine as she did so. It felt like the house had been… waiting for her to come back. Swallowing thickly, Alexa stood back up, looking around for a moment. Softly, she could hear the chiming of wind bells coming from the side of the house and chuckled softly before turning to go past the front of the house and towards the side.**

**Coming up to the side door, she paused to tap on the wind chime, sending a soft tinkling over the silent forest. Inserting the key into the door, she frowned at it, too, didn’t unlock. Glancing down, Alexa saw the old, cracked doggy-door and frowned, before groaning. “Looks like this is the only way inside, huh, Lancey?” She cooed to her belly, kneeling in front of the doggy door and moving the flap to the side. Pushing the camera through the doggy-door, she crawled into the house, bracing her hand against the door behind her to help herself get up. Alexa pats her hands clean on her jeans, before bending and picking the camera back up from the floor, “Used to be a lot easier when I was just eleven.” She grumbled, sending an unamused look into the camera before pointing it to look into the garage.**

**Turning back to the door, she tried to flip on the lights, groaning when it didn’t turn on, “Right, the power was turned off the night mom and I left…” Alexa sighed, turning to walk around the old, abandoned car and towards the door she knew would lead into the kitchen area. She allowed the camera to trail over the woodworking spaces, catching the soft rays of sunlight that filtered in through the upper windows of the garage, remembering days where she and her brothers, great-grandmother Emma and mom would work on various house projects that had to be done.**

**Opening the door to the kitchen, Alexa breathed out a soft sound, a wave of welcoming, dread, and wistfulness coming over her. The kitchen, messy and unorganized, left the way it had been that last night in the house, greeted her and the camera. Dishes were still piled up in the sink, unopened cans of salmon sat on the countertops, and she could barely, but just about, see the opened and abandoned boxes of Chinese food on the dining table from where she stood.**

**She was silent for a moment, taking in the dilapidated, dirty old kitchen. Turning the camera to her face, ignoring her own watery eyes and sadder smile, she cleared her throat, “Welcome home, Lance and Alexa.”**


	4. Alexa Gives Good House Tours, Too Bad The House Is A Demon Nesting Grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others nodded and made themselves more comfortable as Shiro leaned back over, pressing the play button on the cassette player. Alexa’s voice flowed through the room again, dragging team Voltron into the story easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, sorry that everything is taking a bit longer to update and post! I’m currently looking for a job that I can handle along with my schooling!
> 
> I also know I promised this update a long time ago, but when I originally wrote it, I wasn’t happy with how it turned out, so I decided to completely re-write it, which then took ages to edit until I was 100% satisfied with it.

They were silent as they stared at the paused frame of the opening to the kitchen. The four humans and two Alteans were speechless, their eyes wide as they glanced up to one another and then back down to the film they had been watching. None of them knew what to really say. From all that they’d ever learned about Lance, they’d believed that he had a large, friendly family waiting for him back home. To hear all of this new information, from a woman who resembled Lance so much she could only be his mother, in a recorded film, was shocking to them.

“He never even told me…” Hunk’s voice broke the silence, the tall yellow paladin staring blankly up at the blown-up images of the open doorway, eyes shining with water. To think, he and Lance considered each other close enough to be brothers, but the other had never wanted Hunk to find out the truth about where he came from and who his family was, rocked him to the core, “I mean, he never really went back home for the holidays, but he always told me it was because he wanted to use the flight equipment to practice when no one else was around.”

Pidge sighed, closing their eyes, setting their glasses aside so they could rub their face roughly, reeling from the knowledge they’d just gotten from watching only the first few minutes of the film. She glanced down, a wave of curiosity and worry washing over her as she looked around at all the pictures and books still scattered around, “Neither of us really knew… God and Iverson was such a fucking dick to him, always telling him he didn’t belong in fighter class. Shit.”

Shiro was silent as Keith stared angrily up at the woman in the center of the room, he turned to glare at them all, hurt and anger shining in his eyes, “Why didn’t he _tell_ any of us?! Why didn’t he come tell us that what we knew about his family wasn’t true?! God!” Keith punched his knee in frustration, staring angrily down at the floor while the others eyed him warily, “He should have at least told Hunk! The two of you have been best friends for years!”

“Perhaps he felt, for some reason, that he could not,” Allura spoke softly, her eyes trailing over all the paladins sadly, “We all already believed him to have a large happy family waiting for him back on Earth, perhaps he felt that we would not believe him if he told us the truth…”

“There was also the talk of some sort of curse on his family, that his mother-I am assuming she is his mother-mentioned!” Coran spoke up, his usual cheery tone more subdued and quiet in this moment as he watched the other paladins come to terms that everything they’d thought they’d known about their blue teammate was a lie, “He may have felt that we would ridicule him for it. Although… he has only truly ever spoken to us about his mother; I have never truly had a conversation with him that revolved around his other family members.”

Everyone frowned, thinking back to all their interactions and conversations with Lance about his family. Though he’d always been the one most homesick out of them all, so much so that he described it as a ‘constant ache in his chest’, he’d never gone into detail about the family he’d left back on Earth.  Shiro frowned, trying to ignore the hot stab of guilt in his abdomen from the knowledge that he hadn’t tried to reach out and learn more about the other paladin, and turned his attention back to the screen before him, “If we really want to learn more about Lance, I’m afraid that this is the only way we’re going to be able to do that right now. Let’s continue watching.”

The others nodded and made themselves more comfortable as Shiro leaned back over, pressing the play button on the cassette player. Alexa’s voice flowed through the room again, dragging team Voltron into the story easily.

* * *

**“I haven’t been home in so long…” Alexa sighed, shutting the door to the garage behind her, holding the camera steady so the messy kitchen could be caught on film.  There were books stacked on several countertops, empty boxes left open in sporadic spaces of the floor. Dishes, dirty and clean, littered the area near the sink. She eyed the books as the camera continued recording, tilting it up so it could capture the empty kitchen shelves, “I should probably clean up sometime…” She trailed off, clearing her throat and moving through the kitchen, avoiding the island in the center.**

**Clearing her throat, she continued speaking to the camera as it recorded her journey, “I guess that all that’s here are just memories of a family now…” she paused, turning towards the fridge, sucking in a sharp breath at the sight of the paper still stuck to it. There was a photo to the other side, fridge magnets placed together to form the names of those that were in it, but she ignored it in favor of the flyer.**

**“In loving memory of Joseph McClain,” She murmured softly, a flash of a bright grin and green eyes briefly coming to her mind before she squashed it away. She would not grieve someone who’d been dead for years now. Not yet, anyway. The flyer had her older brother’s dates of birth, death and the date of his funeral, including heartfelt words that were empty and meaningless at the time. The McClains had already suffered so much loss, that it was nearly expected for tragedy to keep occurring to them.  
**

**She turned away from the fridge and let out an incredulous laugh, “Looks like these are still here,” she mused, filming the large stack of cans of salmon, “Joseph used to bring these home every day from the cannery, so much so that we got absolutely sick of salmon after awhile… well, everyone except Patty the cat,” she hummed, turning away from the stack of cans that seemed seconds away from collapsing.**

**Seeing a takeaway flyer on the counter and chuckled softly, “I remember that only one restaurant would deliver take away here… so we had Chinese a lot,” Alexa sighed, a wistful sort of sound, walking through the kitchen to exit into the dining room. She frowned, “The tables still a broken mess from the night we left I see,” she murmured, recording the empty and long rotted packs of Chinese food left on the table, surrounded by stacks of magazines, books, and even an old oil lantern. She sighed tiredly, quickly shoving in the chairs around the table, hoping to at least make them look slightly presentable, letting her fingers linger over the chair labeled ‘Great Gran Alex’.**

**“‘s like a bomb’s gone off,” She mused, walking around the table, careful to keep filming her surroundings, “Killing everyone off except the furniture…” Alexa suddenly barked a laugh, picking up and flipping over the flyer left on the table, ‘Happy, Heavenly Sanctuary’ in bold elegant curves printed out on the front, a photo of a smiling old woman on the front, “My mum was the only one of us that could ever see great-grandma Alex living in a nursing home.”  
**

**She set it back down, passing the table to head into the sitting room/library. She hummed to herself, pausing in the middle of the room to lift the camera, turning in a slow circle to show the towering bookcases, filled to the brim with books. An old stone-and-brick fireplace stood proudly at one end, with big, overstuffed armchairs placed sporadically around the room. _‘The house doesn’t look abnormal…’_ she mused to herself with a frown, eyeing the stacks of loose books around the armchairs,  _‘there’s just too much of it… like a smile with too many teeth.’_**

**She was silent for a while, before turning back to the fireplace and filming it as she turned the camera up, “You know,” she began hesitantly, a small smile curling her lips secretively, “even the fireplace has a story. Grandma Alex told me the bricks that built it were from the original house, back after it sank,” Alexa mused, turning and walking out of the cramped, overstuffed sitting room. The camera caught sight of empty carton boxes, left open on the couches before it was turned to the hallway outside the sitting room, edged by the staircase.**

**Alexa paused, looking at the bookcases and coffee table that littered the hallway, a bright smile lighting up her features when she spotted the old music box. She hurried over to it, moving the camera to her left hand as she reached out, letting her fingers trail over the top, the name ‘Danielle’ printed in elegant, golden cursive on the top of the music box. Alexa hummed and turned the handle, a sweetly tinkling melody filling the empty hallway with its song. The box popped open, a small wooden figure in the middle twirling in lazy circles, “Great-grandpa Malcolm built this music box for auntie Danielle, along with the rest of the house,” She stated proudly, zooming in the camera so that it could clearly catch the image of a lake ingrained in the wood, the head of the Lochness monster poking out from it cheerily as the music slowly winded out to a stop, the lid of the box shutting as the song came to an end. Alexa moved the camera around shakily as she transferred it to her right hand once again, filming the pictures hung on the wall and left on the table beside the music box. A photo of a young girl turned away from the camera, sitting in a star-chair with ‘Danielle McClain’ written on the back stood directly beside it.**

**Alexa turned away from the pictures, walking a few steps beside the table and coming to a stop in front of a door. Alexa frowned and took out the key from her pocket, turning it over, “Mum always told me to stay out of the basement…” she said slowly, pushing the key into the lock only to sigh as it didn’t unlock the door, “I’m not all that surprised,” She huffed, turning to walk away from the door, “I’ll try to open it up a bit later if I find the key.”**

**Alexa walked over to the front door, weaving past more moving boxes to stand in front of it, thinking about whether or not she should unlock it to leave later. Her eye caught sight of more missing posters and she sighed, “My mum wasn’t much of an optimist, but she never gave up believing that Camera was alive,” She murmured, lifting the posters to turn them over so she wouldn’t have to keep seeing her older brother’s face. As she turned, more bookcases filled to the brim were caught on camera, even books squashed into empty areas around a door could be seen, “A lot of stuff got left behind that last night here,” she mused, turning to a door that was locked, the edges glued together by a foamy material, extra prevention to stop nosy children from opening the doors.**

**Alexa walked over to it, looking through the peephole and into the other side, “Grandma Alex told me that every McClain that’s ever lived here has been buried somewhere in the library…” she whispered, frowning down at the camera before pulling away from the door, turning towards the stairs that lead to the second floor of the large house. She began to walk up the stairs, being careful to avoid the precariously stacked books on the stairs and the photographs lining the wall up. She stayed mostly silent as she got lost in the memories that plagued this place, “When Cameron disappeared,” Alexa murmured softly, “my mum sealed up all the bedrooms… then Alex retaliated, and drilled in peepholes.”**

**Alexa snickered at the memory, the image of her mother and great-grandmother arguing about both of each other's actions clear in her mind as she walked across the second-floor landing, briefly looking back into the sitting room from up there. She was silent for a few moments, simply staring down at the couches and armchairs, before turning to walk past the bedrooms. She stopped in front of a bright pink door, green ivy vines painted on its surface, and the camera up and into the peephole to catch a glimpse of the bedroom inside. It was decorated with the toys of a young girl, shades of peach and green, purple and orange painted on the walls. A dollhouse lay open to the side, a desk beside it opposite what could only be described as a princess bed. The silky curtains hid it from the view of the peephole, but you could see the back end of the fireplace to the other side of the bed, painted in a pretty sky blue with vines and birds trailing up the sides as if it were a window into a secret world. Branches were carefully stuck to the side, against the walls of the room, making it seem like the tops of the tree branches surrounded one when they sat there, playing happily within a room of dreams, “Patricia always seemed like the kind of girl I imagined I’d be great friends with. If she hadn’t died in 1947,” Alexa muttered, shaking her head as she pulled away.**

**Alexa turned to the other side, noticing an opened doorway and frowned, “Huh… that’s surprising,” she mumbled, hesitating for a moment before entering through the slate blue-grey door and into the room. She gasped and smiled widely, holding the camera up to record the entire room. It was painted to replicate being in the sea, various sea life seemingly swimming lazily through the currents on the walls around the empty room. Dust covered the sand-colored floorboards, scraping lines the only thing indicating that the room had been disturbed. There was no furniture, no personal effects, nothing inside this room beside the open ocean, and Alexa hummed softly, “I spent a lot of time playing in great-uncle Aidan’s room. I think mum sometimes regretted not sealing it up because of that,” she laughed lightly, fully entering the room and walking around happily, letting her finger trail over the beautifully painted walls, “They looked so real as a kid, and I loved that a lot-” Alexa cut herself off with a small frown, narrowing her blue eyes at the sight of the book, seemingly glued to one particular part of the wall.**

**She sucked in a surprised breath as she walked closer, eyes widening at the sight of the padlock on the book, seemingly sealing it up. She pulled out the key in her pocket again and eyed it warily, before slowly pushing it into the lock, turning it to see it pop open, “Joseph always told me there were secret passages within the house…” she murmured, opening the front cover of the book. Inside was a handle and she frowned, gripping it tightly before pulling it upwards, seeing the secret door open smoothly up into a small, cramped hallway, “But at the time, I never believed him,” she whispered guiltily, furrowing her brows. She eyed the surprisingly well lit secret hallway, before setting the camera on the edge and hoisting herself in and through.**

**“It’s time to find out what my mum has been so afraid of.”**


	5. Patricia, The Disappearing 8 Year Old & What The Fuck Has The Team Gotten Themselves Into?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge’s voice cut out as suddenly there was an explosion of light and colour from the journal, filling up the room for a few moments before condensing into the area around the paladins. A multitude of shapes, colours and sounds amalgamated around them as they yelped in fear, scrambling to try and get away from the sudden light show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, it’s been a while! I’ve finally finished off my internship and my internship report and now I have some extra free time to update a lot of my active stories before school begins again, so enjoy these!
> 
> [frantically digs out my notes on lance’s family tree while watching jacksepticeye’s playthrough of the game]

**Alexa hoisted herself through the secret door, patting off her clothing before reaching down to pick up the camera once more. Taking a shaky breath, she turned inside the bare, wooden secret passage, capturing the dust-covered area. She paused, camera facing the wall, and chuckled lightly, a sad smile pulling at her lips as she spoke, “Looks like Cameron was back here a long time before me,” she mused, staring at the painted black cat head with a bird clutched in its mouth, Cameron’s signature boldly written beneath it.**

**Alexa hummed lightly, turning away from the painting, the camera briefly lighting on the children’s push-cram before it turned fully back to the hallway, “I guess if you’re watching this, you probably think I have some kind of plan, huh, Lancey Lance?” the young woman murmured softly, passing by the beautiful stained glass window her great-grandmother had made for this house, heading over to a small, sliding door at the end of the hallway. She lifted it up and slide through, careful of the camera as she did so, “I’ve got no idea what’s behind here, but it’s gotta be pretty important if my mum never wanted me to get here...”**

**Alexa trailed off, staring in wonder at the bright pink room. She shuffled around, walking through the room, the camera recording caught sight of the bed, princess-like with four posters, tiny for a small girl of Patricia’s age. There were books and toys piled high, dusty and unused for generations, but Alexa ignored them in favor of the large cage she found on the desk beside the door. She wandered over to it, looking it over and finding it - obviously - empty of any living creature. Curious, she opened the desk drawers and laughed lightly in surprised joy, seeing the small bedroom like area with a tiny, miniature cage inside it, “Wow, Auntie Pat’s gerbil must’ve had a great time inside this cage, huh?” she giggled, feeling warm at the cute scene, shutting the drawer once she’d gone over it with the camera and standing up once more.**

**Alexa wandered through the room, passing by a shut door with an owl mask hanging off of it, several animal muzzle-like pieces dangling just below it, pausing behind the large armchair facing the window before wandering over to the small bed. She smiled as she saw the painting of a princess tower, covering up the empty space between hastily patched up bricks, turning her attention fully to the bed. Patricia’s name was carved on the headboard in elegant gold letters, the bed covered with several toys and big, fluffy dust covered pink blankets, “It’s weird being behind the door...” Alexa mused softly, running her hands over the home carved wooden bed posts longingly, “it kinda feels like... being in a painting.”**

**Shaking her head, Alexa turned around, heading over towards the bedroom dresser and smiling softly at the messy state it was in. She paused briefly, the camera jiggling in her hold as she reached out and brushed some dust off what looked to be a thick slab of wood. With the dust wiped off, it became astoundingly clear of what was painted on the slab. A young, blonde haired little girl, dressed in a puffy pink princess gown, little black cat-eared headband popping out from her golden curls, stared into the camera brightly. Her eyes were light, the blue of the ocean that seemed to be a common trait within the McClain’s bloodline shining softly in the afternoon sun at the camera. Her smile was mischievous, as if she knew a secret that no one else did. The letters A. E. McClain were painted at the bottom, and Alexa felt her heart ache, “Grandma Alex must’ve spent a lot of time in here before mum closed the room off,” she whispered, fingers trailing gently over the words and image. A photograph placed beside the painted wood, showed off just how lifelike the image was, a bright little girl staring out of the black and white image into the camera.**

**Ignoring the sharp ache in her chest, the tan woman turned away from the painting, heading before the armchair, where the large, framed sea star caught her attention. Humming curiously, she wandered over to it, lifting it up with a smile, pausing as she spotted the small, pink colored leather journal underneath. Alexa stood there for a moment, staring at it, before leaning over to pick it up, setting the camera down, facing out towards the lake, letting it continue filming. The camera caught, in the far distance, the irregular brightening and softening of a light, out towards the middle of the lake, something looking absurdly like a house showing itself darkly in the fading daylight. There was the soft sound of a surprised gasp, before the camera was picked up again, turned to face Alexa, who had gone pale as a sheet with a shaky smile. She held up the journal, shaking it lightly for the camera, “I’m gonna take this with me. Gonna leave it with the bag I plan to give you... maybe there’ll be more stuff hanging around here? If so, I’ll make sure to take it with me too!”**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The video paused as Pidge suddenly sat up with a surprised gasp, scrambling up from her lazy seating position to the middle of the room, ruffling through the contents of the bag she’d been checking out before pulling out a faded pink journal triumphantly. She turned back to the others, who stared at her in bemusement as she waved the journal at them.

“I remember looking through this before we saw the tape! There was some pretty normal stuff, but the last entry in the journal was really, really weird...” she trailed off, flipping through the journal pages as the others shuffled around, trying to look into the journal, “I didn’t really have time to read it before we started watching the film, but it stuck with me because it was so bizarrely started, unlike all the other entries and-”

Pidge’s voice cuts out as suddenly there was an explosion of light and color from the journal, filling up the room for a few moments before condensing into the area around the paladins. A multitude of shapes, colors and sounds amalgamated around them as they yelped in fear, scrambling to try and get away from the sudden light show. Keith tried to reach for his sword while Shiro stood protectively before the princess and Coran, Hunk and Pidge a little way besides them as they stared up fearfully at the strange... cloud? Vision? Whatever it was.

Suddenly it stopped moving, frozen in time for a handful of seconds as the paladins watched the floating thing before them. Suddenly, a bright, cheerful voice spoke, filling the room and confusing the paladins even more. They stared at the cloud as it slowly started shifting once again, reading out the last journal entry.

**_December 13th, 1947_ **

**_Dear Diary,_ **

**_I’ll be gone soon, but I wanted to tell somebody about what’s gonna happen._ **

**_It started when mama sent me to bed without any dinner._ **

Before the paladins, the vision brightened and grew, fading into the by then familiar room of Patricia McClain. Slowly, it grew on them that what they were seeing was very real and that the voice speaking sounded very chillingly like that of a young child. They watched in a growing horror and intrigue as the image shifted, assuming that this was the last thing Patricia remembered before she - disappeared? Died? Went missing?

**_I woke up and I was starving, so I looked around for something to eat. The gerbil food was dry but I didn’t mind it._ **

The image shifted as Patricia went to stand out of bed, glancing around before she toddled over to her open gerbil cage, reaching in for what looked to be a carrot and some pellets, hearing the crunch of the food as the little girl ate it. She turned away once it was finished, walking over to a pumpkin pot on a shelf hanging on the wall and reaching into it, only to find it empty.

**_My Halloween candy was all gone..._ **

They watched as she wandered over to her bedroom door, jiggling the handle before calling out loudly _, **“Mama? Can I come out now?”**  _There was a brief moment of silence before a heavily Irish voice called back, muffled through the door, _**“Sweetheart, it’s late! Please go back to bed.”**  _Patricia seemed to pause, before she walked away from the door, her stomach growling and grumbling loudly in the quiet of the darkened room. Suddenly, her attention turned towards something glinting in the moonlight. A fishbowl sat atop the pink dressing table, and they saw the little girl hopping over to it, reaching in to pick up the goldfish swimming around lazily inside it. A certain sense of unease clutched their stomachs as they watched and heard the fish squirm around in the little girl’s hands.

**_I thought about eating Christopher, but I held back._ **

The team let out a little breath, seeing the goldfish placed gently back into its fishbowl home, before the girl wandered off, opening the door they’d seen was shut in the video. She wandered into a pink bathroom, reaching up by the sink to grab the almost full bottle of toothpaste on top. They heard the sound of squeezing and swallowing, feeling nauseous, as she then wandered to her window and picked off the red berries that hung tantalizingly from a sprig of what looked to be Holly by the sill. 

_**I kept eating and eating, but it wasn’t enough... I ate a lot of things that night.** _

There was a brief pause before the soft fluttering and chirping of a bird could be heard back outside the window back in the bedroom. 

_**_**Then, I heard chirping outside my windows!** _  
** _

She wandered back towards it and saw the little bird perched outside the window on the branch by the big tree. A shiver worked its way down the team’s spines as she let out a delighted little gasp.

_**_**It was a barn swallow, heading back to her nest! I reached out for her-** _ ** _

The windows opened, a small chain keeping them mostly together as the chilly night air blew into the room. The mist outside left soft lavender smoke wisping around the tree. They heard an irritated grunt before their perception changed and little black paws with tiny sharp claws latched onto the tree outside-

__**-and suddenly... I was a cat!** _ _

They stared in amazement and confusion, hearing the now-cat purring loudly as she scrambled up the tree. The bird flew off. The cat hesitated, clambering higher, leaping to another branch. She was stalking, getting closer, little bell jingling cheerfully. She could hear the rustling feathers, felt the cool wind stroke her sleek back. She mewed, reaching the bird’s latest perch. It chirped and flew off again, towards the house. Hunger gnawing in her belly, she followed, leaping to the roof. Allura turned to the team with some confusion, “I thought humans could not change form?”

“We can’t,” Pidge said softly, flinching as the cat leaped onto a nearby ladder before hopping over to the roof, “I think... I think maybe this is just some really weird fever dream or something?” She went quiet, staring at the vision as it continued.

__**I tried to be quiet, but the bird was really scared.** _ _

Swiftly, she followed. The chase was on, the barn swallow always a little out of reach, and her hunger was growing. They stared in horror, shivering every time she missed, silent as she hunted. She wandered over the roof, slunk through the branches of the tree, hopped to and fro, never losing sight of her prey. She paused briefly, looking into the window of a large, cozy room, two figures asleep on the bed inside.

__**Mama and Papa didn’t even look at me.** _ _

It sounded sad, and there was a moment of hesitation before the chirping caught her attention and the hunger returned. She followed the bird once again. Her bell jingled with every hop, and she could see the swallow tiring staying a little bit too long on each new spot. She was getting closer.

__**I jumped and I almost got her. I could tell she was getting really tired.** _ _

The cat growled irritably, from tree to tree she leaped, getting ever closer. She hopped onto a brightly decorated table, her claws tip-tapping over the polished wood. Suddenly, she climbed higher and higher, fear pushed to the back of her mind as the team watched with bated breath.

__**I was on the big tree now. I promised papa I wouldn’t try to climb it anymore, but all I cared about was eating that mama bird.** _ _

She leaped, and finally her claws sunk into soft, feathered flesh. She slipped, but her hunger overwhelmed her, quickly swallowing down her prey. Shiro sucked in a sharp, terrified breath, the others gagging quietly before freezing as they watched the ground closing in, coming closer and closer. Fear settled deeply into the image, a darkness enveloping the vision before it... cleared up once again. They could hear wind flowing softly, the rattling of silky feathers.

__**The suddenly, I was an owl!** _ _

She flew, the wind rushing past her, elegant and soft. The moon lit upon her and she looked down, admiration and exhilaration curled up in she feathered chest. 

__**First, all I could hear was the wind. Then, I heard little teeth nibbling in the grass!** _ _

The team could only watch in silent awe as she flew, Pidge briefly muttering about being ‘hongry’, before silencing herself to watch the vision. The snowy ground beneath the owl passed by at dizzying speeds, and they could hear the soft sounds of a wandering little rodent. She dove suddenly, the lavender mist swirling around her and the body of a softly furred animal came into view, large long ears perked up into the air as it ate cautiously in the night. Something viciously hungry and demanding curled within the owl, a delighted **_“Rabbits!”_  **coming from the vision as she rose up and dove once again, swiftly catching one between her sharp talons as she flew off. The warm blood dripped from her fresh kill, the scent gnawing at her as she flew, soon finding a place to perch. She consumed her meal swiftly, not wanting to risk any other predators smelling the kill and stealing it from her.

__**I imagined his face looking up and seeing mine, through my talons. I swallowed him up, and I didn’t chew one bit! Then I flew off to find something bigger.** _ _

The owl hooted gently, lifting off the branch and flying off. Hunk looked a little green, glancing at the others briefly, “This little girl's seriously kinda fucked up,” he mumbled, hearing noises of agreements from the others. They quieted down once again, continuing to watch the vision, memory, dream, whatever it was. They all flinched as she swooped down again, a fatter rabbit soon dangling from her claws.

__**A mama rabbit! She was almost too big to carry. I started choking, but I couldn’t stop eating!** _ _

Her heartbeat rang loudly through the vision, thumping wildly. They could hear her struggling to swallow, and the acid burning feeling of bile rose up in Keith’s mouth. They stared incredulously as suddenly, the image shifted again, and a dark grey snout of a sark filled the edge of the vision.

__**And suddenly, I was a shark!** _ _

She rolled, falling from the ground as the team suddenly cracked up laughing, a little hysterical as they watched the big shark roll down a forested hill, trees and rocks passing by them at a blur. 

__**I rolled off a cliff, and into the ocean! Now... I was hungrier than ever!** _ _

They quieted down as the shark started swimming, watching with a little more skepticism as the vision waded through seaweed. She sped through the water, the trail of bubbles before her clearing up, the spotted hide of a seal becoming clearer in the murky waters. She rushed towards it, a need for something filling overtaking her rational thoughts.

__**I wanted fat, juicy seals.** _ _

They watched, uncomfortably, as she managed to grab the seal’s tail with her big, powerful jaws, the poor thing struggling to get itself loose, bellowing in fear. Blood drifted in tendrils into the water, her mind becoming clouded with red.

__**I tore off her flipper and it tasted really good.** _ _

She chased the bloody trail of her prey, swiftly catching up and biting down into it once again, more of that delicious taste filling her mouth. Coran glanced away, uncomfortable, but Allura’s gaze remained steadily on the vision. 

__**I grabbed on tight, but I was so hungry, I jumped out of the water. When I opened my eyes, everything changed!** _ _

The image blackened and changed once again, the girl suddenly on a ship. Something wet squelched loudly within the vision, a deep, hungry growling settling into the room as whatever was on the screen moved. Stretching out before them, a long, slender arm with suckers squirmed, suddenly clamping down on the wood and dragging something heavy over it. She moved through the ship, something - or rather, someone - catching her attention. A deep, rusty voice sang out through the wooden halls, echoing back towards her. 

__**Now I was a monster, and I smelled people everywhere!** _ _

The team could do nothing but watch as what used to be the little girl slide itself loudly over the wooden deck. It was hunting someone, its hunger curling around itself. Something unsettling filtered through the vision, heavy, deep breaths and the sting of sharp, loud growling. It silenced itself as it got closer, squeezing under machinery and between pipes. Its attention was caught suddenly, a figure standing to the side of the ship. It turned itself towards the man, something gleeful and hungry echoing through it.

__**I was big, but I moved real quietly.** _ _

It slunk closer, silent, its tendril reaching forward and wrapping around the man’s leg. It tugged, the man yelped in fear, but it was too quick, too hungry, swallowing the man down easily. It turned towards the stairs, heading up, its stomach still empty, gnawing at its thoughts. The paladins stared, wide-eyed, as it searched for more prey. The panicked voice of little Patricia filtered from far away, reaching them just barely.

__**I wanted to stop, but at the same time I... didn’t.** _ _

She sounded guilty, a fear in her voice as the creature continued to slither up the stairs, opening the double doors leading to the steering wheel. A voice suddenly sang through, deep and rusty, and it crawled towards the man standing at the helm.

 _ __ **“What should we do with a drunken sailor,  
**What should we do with a drunken sailor,****_    
**What should we do with a drunken sailor,**    
Early in the morning?”

 __**“Shave his belly with a rusty razor,  
__**Shave his belly with a rusty razor,****__    
**Shave his belly with a rusty razor -”**

The voice was cut off, a scream passing through him but was quickly silenced as the monster pulled him close and swallowed him. Everything stilled for a moment, silent and deafening. Suddenly, it turned, a scent so tantalizing, so new and delicious, reached it from out in the ship. Its hunger returned. It started moving.

____**After the last passenger, I was still hungry. Across the water, I smelled something new. Something I had to have.** _ _ _ _

Patricia’s voice trembled. Something uncomfortable settled within the paladins, but they couldn’t stop, couldn’t turn off the vision like they could the video recording of Lance’s mum.

____**So I swam towards it...** _ _ _ _

The creature was on the beach, a grate barely blocking it from a pipe heading deep underground. It slid in, crawling through.

____**I slithered onto the sand and the good smell went into an old pipe.** _ _ _ _

It crawled, much faster than it had been on the ship, its ever-present hunger vibrating through it with a need for sustenance. They watch, a sense of dread welling up inside them, as the creature pulled itself up the pipe and out of a toilet. The bathroom was pink, familiar to them. It slid towards the bathroom door, creaking it open into an equally pink room.

____**I slid closer and closer...** _ _ _ _

There was a light coming out from beneath a very familiar bed. The creature slid closer, excitement coursing through it. It crawled under the bed.

____**All my stomachs started growling... and suddenly, I was me again.** _ _ _ _

The vision blurred and darkened. Bleary eyes opened up and someone, Patricia, the team realized belatedly, sat up in the pink bed quickly. She looked down at her hands, turning them over and over, trembling as she heard something growling deep beneath her bed. She froze for a moment, before quickly pulling a familiar pink journal out from under her pillow, opening to a fresh page and starting to write. The growling stopped. Silence.

____**I held my breath for a long time, but I couldn’t hear anything!** _ _ _ _

The whispered voice was fearful, as she looked over to the side of the bed. She continued writing quickly, swallowing heavily.

____**I think it’s waiting for me to fall asleep. But it’s not going to wait much longer! It needs to feed and we both know that I...** _ _ _ _

**_will be..._ **

**_delicious._ **

There was a moment of silence as the last word hung in the air, a deep growling ringing through the vision. The cloud went dark, flickering with snippets to sound and color. Big yellow eyes. Sharp, shark-like teeth. A short cry. It collapsed into itself, the vision growing larger, roaring as it filled the room, growing and growing and growing, enveloping the area with darkness. The paladins yelled for each other, grabbing whoever was closest as a violent wind rushed through and passed them, whipping their hair in their faces. Hunk held onto Pidge and Allura, Coran keeping a tight grip on his jacket as Shiro and Keith held on as tightly as they could to the orange haired man’s waist. 

Everything froze for a moment before the miasma was suddenly sucked back into the faded pink journal, a deep, angry snarling ringing through the room before it was silenced with a crisp, sharp snap of the pages closing upon it. 

There was a terrifying moment where team Voltron kept holding onto one another, afraid that if they let go, they’d be sucked up and out of the castle as well. When nothing else happened, the let go of one another with a heavy sigh.

Keith ripped away from them and started pacing, his eyes wide and wild with fear and anger, “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck!” he yelled, teeth gritting as he kept moving, the others checking each other over and turning towards him. Keith stopped pacing, facing the others and gestured towards the journal with a panicked look on his face, “What the actual _fuck_ was that?!”

“That-I don’t know-that didn’t happen the first time I was going through it, oh my God-!” Pidge said, taking several deep breaths to try and remain calm, her hands shaking violently from what had previously occurred. 

“Guys, we need to stay calm-” Shiro began, voice shaky and unsure.

Keith cut him off with an incredulous laugh, staring at their leader, “Are you kidding me, how the hell can we remain calm, our team mate has been hiding some fucked up magic bullshit from us all this time that tried to  _eat us_ -”

“I th-think it was trying to-to-to suck us into the journal,” Hunk stuttered, eyeing the harmless looking pink book warily as he used the tips of his toes to shove it back with the pile of other things that they’d found in Blue’s hidden compartment.

“What the actual fuck,” Keith breathed, flopping on one of the couches and holding his head in his hands.

Hunk cleared his throat, looking worriedly at the rest of his team as they all tried to come to terms with what they’d just seen, “Maybe we should... take a break? We’re all still pretty strung out from the last fight, so maybe now isn’t the best time to go looking through this maybe-but-most-likely-magical stuff.” Pidge nodded, leaning against Hunk, legs shaking slightly as she stood there.

Shiro looked torn, turning to Allura who seemed to hesitate, glancing over at the books and other things that were still in a messy pile beside the holo-projector they’d been using to watch the video. The two seemed to communicate silently for a bit before Allura nodded and turned to the others, “We should all take some time to rest up before we continue watching and looking through all... this.”

Shiro nodded lightly and turned to his team, looking over them all worriedly before clearing his throat, “Let’s all take the rest of the day, er, the night off. Go wash up, grab something to eat, use the training room if you need to, to cool down from everything. We’ll meet back up here tomorrow to continue looking through everything.”

Everyone stood there for a moment longer before they all started heading off. Pidge was the first to leave, muttering something about checking out the data they’d gotten from their last prison run for information about her dad and Matt, before hurrying from the room. Keith left next, followed by Shiro and Allura, leaving Hunk and Coran in the living quarters. Coran left next, saying something about preparing some food for the team, without any protests from Hunk, who was still staring at the frozen image of Lance’s mum, pale and fearful in the video.

Turning on his heel, he swiftly made his way over to the med-bay, hurrying over to the healing pod where Lance was. He stared up at his friend for a few minutes, cycling through the day in his mind before sighing and leaning his head against the front of the pod, sliding down to sprawl next to the pod.

“What the hell have you been hiding from us, buddy?”


End file.
